hella van old yo

One day I was walking down the road when I came upon a man, muttering to himself. "What's the matter?' I asked him.
"The problem is neither here nor there" he replied. I told him since it was neither here nor there it must not exist. The man leaped up at once and said "cancer does not exist?"
"it must not" I said. In my head I thought that cancer patients must not exist either. No sooner did the thought come to me did the man fade into the wind like dust. Perturbed at my own act, I fled down a dark alleyway, wrapped in my own thoughts. Shadows in beastly forms danced across the walls, and leered down upon me. There can be no shadows , for there is no light i comforted myself. Instantly the shadows vanished. The Lord almighty then appeared before me, bathed in light. "Who are you to banish demons and eliminate sickness?" he bellowed to me. "I am but a Thinker!" I replied. He told me that all things were of him and he was of them, therefore they must exist. I thought and responded: "then will I never die since you are immortal and i am of you and you are of me?" The lord laughed and said "good try, but death is also a part of me." I noticed a fallacy, and blurted out "then everything is dead and therefore does not exist!" Thusly I brought about the end of the universe unwittingly. END