Words I know I can't take back, inspired by an empty bottle of Jack Daniels black and the soft glow of the computer screen is a harsh judge. I'm serving consecutive life sentences, with only myself to blame, and while the stink of booze mixes with misery and shame I hang my head and worry my hands on the dusty keyboard, worn with use on many lonely nights like tonight. Insomnia back with a vengeance, I'm backed up against the wall with a freight train six inches from my face, and the grenade is in my chest, the pin is slipping, my only options now are live hard or die from lack of trying. Tonight is the breaking point, mania or depression, sink low or ride the crest, choose, there is no middle ground and if there was fuck the middle ground, if my only options are live dangerously, live in depression, or live in mediocrity bring on the adrenaline or kill me. Kill me for god's sake kill me and end this mind-numbing rollercoaster of torment.